Jackets. Specifically, blazer-type jackets. They’re everywhere. Ever since I first found my face squished up against walls of maroon courduroy jackets at indie gigs circa2003 (and saw the track marks left down my cheeks afterwords) I feel that the ever-growing army of casual blazer-wearers has been sent on a mission to mock me. I don’t know what it is about my body shape, but try as I might, I can never find a blazer that looks quite…right.
I used to think that it was due to an unfortunate shoulder-to-back ratio (one being averagely broad, the other being unnaturally short) and there may be some truth in that. However, the recent crop of jacket styles has reminded me is that the problem I have with jackets is quite possibly the same problem that I have with most “fashion” clothes: boobs.
Item 1: “The Boyfriend Jacket”
“Oversized” (yet miraculously not on the arm or the shoulder), unfitted, long jackets are pretty much everywhere…
…on the high street:
[Velvet boyfriend jacket, Topshop, £85, available here] I have extreme love for the whole velvet thing. I tried on a long velvet skirt in a charity shop yesterday – needless to say, I was reminded how no one over a size 8 should never wear an elasticated waist. Ever.
…on teh internets:
[Gabrille Ravelo Pink Contrast jacket, £120, asos, Asos Ruched Sleeve Blazer, £50, asos]. Wearing a navy blazer no longer means you’re a Tory :).
Rachel Bilson, long time supporter of the boyfriend jacket.
Now I’m not going to patronise you by saying any more about this ubiquitous and resilient trend, except for this…WHERE ARE MY BOOBS MEANT TO GO??!?! My actual boyfriend’s jacket probably wouldn’t look to awful on me, but these (like so many trends around at the moment) are about flowing delicately down a long silhouette, unimpeded by anything as inconvinient as a pair of breasts. Boo.
Item 2: The Structured shoulder:
[Simon Wang Metallic Puff Shoulder Jacket, £95, asos]
Can you imagine that with a pair of 34Ds inside? You can have a maximum of two things jutting out of any outfit. Add boobs to that outfit, and you would have four things jutting out, which would just be a ridiculous catastrophe of over-juttage. You’d end up looking like a dodecahedron. And it’s not just the extreme structured shoulder, shoulder pads of any kind have the same effect. It’s just too…busy.
I’ve picked out two extreme examples, but I pretty much always have the same problem. Now, my issue with the lack of boob-space in fashion is a rant for another post, but for now I can show you how I’ve managed to get around it…by wearing a jacket two sizes too small:
[Jacket, H&M many moons ago; skirt, American Apparel; t-shirt, New Look; tights, Falke] My camera has decided that it never again wants to talk to my computer so I’m giving phone photos a go – hence the weirdness!
I can’t get it done up, or even close, but as long as I leave it open it sits nicely on my shoulders, without all that stuff flapping around the front that almost-but-doesn’t-quite go over my chest. And it looks way better than when it supposedly “fit” me.
Maybe there’s hope for me and the jacket yet.